Coaching Unleashed!

Idea + Action = Growth

2010-04-21T19:33:00.001-07:00

"Ideas not coupled with action never become bigger than the
brain cells they occupied." -- Arnold H. Glasgow

What causes the lack of action?

Often it is because we share our ideas with "Nay Sayers." You know
who they are in your life, "You could never pull that off!" and sometimes
we are the negative ones", "I do not have every single qualification for
that opened position, so I cannot apply." Sometimes it is about fear of
rejection, or evenjust plain fear, if I don't stick my neck out: I can't get
hurt, I won't fail, I won't be judged, etc. The truth is, lack of action or
follow through can keep us from realizing a more fulfilled life and or
career. What other stories do we tell ourselves? "I don't have time."
is always a good one. And yet, we occupy our precious brain cells
with these ideas. We occupy our precious time with so much of
the unproductive.

Getting started on the path of: Idea + Action = Growth

The first step is to sort through the many ideas we may come
up with. Our brains are programmed to think. Our hearts, integrity,
morality and experiences help us evaluate and shed light on what
might be possible. If I can think it, my hearts feels good about it,
my integrity is in alignment with it, my moral and spiritual teaching
and self is in agreement, then it is probably something to take
another action towards. If the idea is not worthy, we can let it go, and
make space in our brain for new and better ideas. Once we discover
what is a worthy idea, we can create an action plan to follow through.

The second step is to create an action plan with as many steps as
we currently understand are required and commit to accomplish the
first one. The plan may begin simply, with more research to discover
any other lurking pitfalls we did not at first look, realize.

The third step includes continual evaluation of the results of each
step taken towards the idea. In my mind, it is important that we
continually evaluate and test our results against our requirements,
as each new step we take, could potentially uncover a serious flaw.
It is also important to test the idea against what we thought we
would gain by it: is that still true and is that still what we want.
I have worked with many a client that got caught up in the process
only to discover, down the road, they really no longer wanted the
intended result.

Coach's Challenge: How many ideas are just taking up your
brain cells? Will you ever know what you are truly capable of, or
how far you may be able to go until you put some of those ideas
into action? If nothing else, if you evaluate them and discover they
are not right for you, you can let them go, you will free up brain
cells to create new concepts.

Idea + Action = Growth

By Kate Steinbacher

The Art of Mapmaking

2009-08-29T22:27:00.000-07:00

Classic children's literature has a way of untangling complex ideas; core truths are presented to readers in a simple, yet memorable way. For example, in his timeless story of Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll penned these lines: "Alice came to a fork in the road. 'Which road do I take?' she asked.'Where do you want to go?' responded the Cheshire cat. 'I don't know,' Alice answered. 'Then,' said the cat, 'it doesn't matter.'" The art of living and meeting goals begins with a designing a reliable map.

I often notice the pattern of good intentions often going awry when working with new clients. There are many explanations for this but if I had to summarize the common thread that runs through each situation, I'd have to say that what is missing is a clearly formulated plan, a road map, if you will. A road map that not only establishes the rules but one that specifies an appropriate action plan. What's true for clients is true for the rest of us, too. How can we stop procrastinating and follow through with our own "action plan?" Can we truly learn to change non-productive patterns, and if so, how do we proceed?

The answer lies, in part, by bringing our attention to our own patterns of reaction when procrastination occurs, and by reviewing our belief system, noticing how old beliefs continue to create dissonance with our new intentions. In some ways beliefs are like children. They play the same old broken tape day in and day out. If the "tapes" persist long enough and hard enough in our conscious mind, these beliefs can wear us down. That, or else "negotiate a deal" with our minds; a deal that suits the old agenda. Even the most thoughtful of among us can second-guess ourselves into compromise when the "old messages" get the upper voice in one's mind. Add to this, memories and feelings of discomfort from the past involving similar experiences, and, well, it's easy to see how the clear outlines about what goals to set, how to hold intentions clearly, and how to let go of outcome can quickly become very muddy, and difficult to chart.
Individuals that meet success with their goals have a plan. They anticipate problems. They know that self-discipline and self-punishment are two very different things. They know, too, that a certain amount of missteps comes with the territory is part of the learning process. Successful maps are developed when responses that fit well into our agenda become part of our new daily practice. These responses are consistent. We learn to work with the ideas that make sense to us and are effective. Further, we continually notice our own behavior and understand how it impacts others. Our new road map begins to reflect a preference to be proactive rather than reactive. We come to see our goals clearly and work toward them steadily. We choose not to be victims when circumstances or fate scatters our plans; preferring instead to pick up the pieces, create a new strategy, and move forward. We are serious about our intentions. We practice what we preach by modeling the behavior we want to have: self-control, respect, fairness, and other such attributes. We also learn to maintain a sense of humor' humor is the essential oil that keeps things in perspective. We learn to make peace with the past and we become willing to take risks in order to open up to core truths. We strive to be open daily to subtle changes and shifts in our interactions and energy levels; flexibility is the key here. We see and appreciate the strength and beauty of individuals. We give emphasis to cooperation and understand that it is not our job to control, heal or fix anyone else except ourselves. Successful mapmakers believe in prevention and planning, just as they believe in living in the moment and accepting life as it shows up, rather than how we wish it had been.

Patterns of behavior take time to change. This is true for everyone. Process is process. Good choices are learned. Patience is essential. The efforts from beginner's map making efforts may take weeks before change is noticed. Our attitudes and shifts toward the positive change. Small movement toward a goal is still movement. A positive attitude, a willingness to examine your own behavior and see how it affects the process, the willingness to make a commitment to be true to yourself, your values, and your integrity are paramount. The courage of your own beliefs is the first step. It will take lots and lots of practice to change your own behavior and habits. Practice leads to a greater sense of mastery and confidence. The changes we wish to see begins with a change in our own expectation and behavior.

Breaking old patterns isn't easy but it can be done. Map making is a skill. It takes hard work and it takes a lot of time, and practice. Without it, we remain lost. Having a firm foundation (clarity of vision) upon which to draw, successful mapmakers will step up as the owners of their dreams, goals, and aspirations.
Even with the very best efforts, human relationships will always have its moments of conflict and misunderstanding. Relationships can be messy, and sometimes, despite our very best conscious efforts, there may be times when the rockiest of paths is chosen. Rocky paths are perfect learning experiences, too. And they have a place on the map of experience. We just need to be clear about the true nature of the map. Map making can feel like we've stepped into Wonderland at times. But unlike Alice, with clarity, intention, and attention, we can figure out which road to take. After all, we created a map that is perfect for our needs.

Brenda Murphy, MA, Director
The Georgia Centre for Parental Coaching, Inc.

Allowing others to be themselves is the best gift we can give to one another.

2009-08-08T15:10:00.000-07:00

Each and every day we have the ability to consciously choose our attitude and the mindset with which we approach that day.

How do you approach your life?

Are you one who acknowledges your accomplishments and celebrates along the way? Or do you only see a long “To Do” list that grows daily?

Do you leverage and grow your strengths, or lament your weaknesses? Do you recognize challenges, evaluate their impact and determine a strategy or solution or do you spend your emotional and energy bank account compulsively in worry and anxiousness over issues you cannot control.

Take a moment and think about yourself in these circumstances. If you resonated with the first half of each question, you see the glass as half full. Congratulations! You are on your way to success and proactive positivism, not only your own, but probably that of your team and or family as well. If like many of us, you find yourself connecting to the second half of some of the questions, you see the glass as half empty, at least part of the time and are possibly struggling with expectations and attitude adjustment.

The Challenge:

You have created or been given a plan to accomplish a complex goal or project. There are numerous steps in the plan with timelines and deadlines to meet. There is information you have to discover or processes you have to learn in order to move forward. In order to carry out the plan: a combination of organization, management and team building skills are required. The final result depends upon written as well as oral skills. There are several people or teams of people upon whom you have to rely in order to complete the project or meet the goal. You will bump into stumbling blocks along the path to fruition. You will have to re-think some parts of the strategy; brain-storm and make changes to insure the project is accomplished with the most efficient methods and in a timely manner.

This scenario applies to the most complicated business start-up project or growing a family and running a household on a budget.

Now: Choose Your Attitude!

Accomplishments vs. Overwhelming “To Dos”

Half Full: Within your plan, you set smaller goals and celebrate each one with your self or your team as you accomplish them. This choice renews your energy and enthusiasm to continue the project and highlights your momentum, dwells on completions and builds your team.

Half Empty: Get caught up in the bigger goal, the deadlines and the unknown information. Dwell on what is not done and the growing list of tasks at hand. This attitude saps your energy, paralyzes a team and causes procrastination to flourish.

Leverage Strengths vs. Lament Weaknesses:

Half Full: Discuss or review the tasks at hand. Determine what tools, skills and talents are required to accomplish them. Distribute the tasks according to the strengths of your team. If you are your own entity, attack the tasks that your strengths speak to and look for ways to delegate or barter to accomplish the rest. If those methods do not work, brainstorm an alternative method to accomplish the task that honors your strengths. This choice creates synergy, builds self-esteem and maintains the project’s momentum towards its goal.

Half Empty: Discover all of the tasks that cannot be accomplished by the team at hand and allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the impossibility of it all. Dwell on your personal weaknesses or those of your team. Continually second-guess decisions and work quality. If being stuck is your goal, these attitude choices will insure the hardening of the cement!

Recognize A Challenge vs. Compulsive Emotion/Energy Expense:

Half Full: A stumbling block/problem arises that is out of your control; you take a deep breath and see it as a challenge. You review the issues and determine the severity of the block, and its impact on the project. Along with your team, you discover the best strategy to minimize any negative impact and overcome the challenge. You create a method or procedure to insure the challenge does not arise again. This choice costs a few steps back and a re-evaluation of the time line but you move on and past it with a sigh and possibly a stronger team!

Half Empty: The same block arises; you allow yourself to view it emotionally as an insurmountable catastrophe. You expend an immense amount of energy worrying about the possible impacts, the potential losses and how people will respond to it. You assume the worst and are sure the project is doomed to failure and you will lose your job. You lose sleep over the problem and become anxious and unable to think clearly. Your lack of clarity causes you to compound the problem, creating a worse dilemma. With this attitude, you lose your job!

The Coaching Challenge:

What attitude do you choose? Do you react or do you respond to the world around you? My challenge to you is to become aware of your attitude choices. Ask a trusted friend or partner or coach to gently help you see the times your choice is leaning towards the half empty.

Ask yourself questions about your negative reaction. What is the payback? Once you have developed awareness and determined the payoff, look at possibilities and the paybacks for responding with a positive attitude.

The message to take away?

Remember, whatever you decide,

your attitude is always your choice!